[2013 UPDATE: This was the very first post in the original incarnation of this site back 2008. A lot has changed since then but the mission, and jist of this post, is the same. We are here to celebrate the love / hate relationship we have with our dual heritage. So chillax. We’re all friends here. Hope you enjoy the show]
Any West Indian worth their seasoned salt knows that this is the proper way to answer the phone after 7pm. God forbid you pick up the phone and just say hello into the mouthpiece. Aunt Patsy, Cousin Violet or Uncle Eddie on the other end WILL lose their damn mind.
“Hello?”
“Hello GOOD NIGHT.”
“Oh hey Auntie Joy, how you doing?” “Wha’ wrong wit you? Like you don’t know fe answer de phone proper, eh?
Like you ain’t get no mudda, no fadda, nutting right?!”
In the space of 3 seconds you’re backtracking, apologizing and trying to explain why you’re acting like a ‘dyamn Americyan’ instead of a ‘proper Guyanese’.
The lives of 1st generation Caribbean-Americans are laced with land mines like this. As you walk the cultural tightrope between your heritage and your American dream you often stumble, pissing off one group or the other (or yourself), all the while wondering ‘What the f*ck man?! So what if I don’t like plaintain and no I don’t hide weed in my locks! Can’t I just be my damn-f*ckin’ self for 2 minutes! Jeez!’ Well yes you can. Come in and sit down, why don’t you? Just mek sure you tek off you shoe fus’. Me ain’t want you dutty feet all over me cyarpet, seen?
